Case Studies: 1, 2, 3, 4

Case Study 1

Lorna, 38, Architects Assistant, Northampton

“I was recently divorced and new to the dating scene. Having been married for 13 years, most of my friends we married or in long term relationships themselves, so I found traditional means of meeting potential new partners a little difficult.

It took me a lot of courage to attend my first speed dating session, however at the end of the evening I felt satisfied that I had met three men, very briefly, who I decided I wanted to know more about! I happily exchanged mobile phone numbers with all three of them. After a further telephone conversation with one of them, we both decided that we didn’t want to meet again. I talked a few times to the second chap, and we met, once and I began to realise that perhaps it was too soon for me to enter a serious relationship.

The third guy turned out to be a real hassle. He phoned me three evenings in succession, and at first I found this attention extremely flattering. However, having decided from my previous date with the other man that I wasn’t quite ready to meet a new partner just yet, I decided to ask him not to call again. He said that he really liked the sound of me and was really eager to meet. I tried to explain how initially I thought I was ready to start a new relationship, but that I now realised I wasn’t.

He seemed impatient and said that he’d really enjoyed talking to me – on the last occasion for over an hour - and felt that he already knew me. To avoid disappointing him too much, I asked him to give me a bit of space, and call again in a few weeks time, and that perhaps we could meet then.

He didn’t call for two evenings… and then the nuisance calls really started.

He rang me night after night, three, four, sometimes five times, begging me to meet him. I kept explaining that he didn’t know me and that I really wasn’t ready, and to please respect that and leave me alone – that he was putting me off, not encouraging me to meet him. If I left my phone switched off, he would leave long, rambling messages and I could sense anger and frustration building in his voice, which started to worry me.

His calls were persistent… yet I’d never even met this man!

After two weeks, and with much embarrassment I had to ask my brother to spend the evening with me, and to answer each of the nuisance calls – pretending to be my ex, and threatening to get really nasty if he didn’t leave me alone.

Needless to say these calls have put me off speed dating and certainly handing out my own telephone number to a complete stranger. I will try speed dating again – but certainly won’t be handing out my personal number again quite so quickly”

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Case Study 2

Rebecca, 26, Commercial Property Risk Underwriter, Chiswick

“My career has taken priority in my life, since leaving university four years ago. Since graduating I have worked extremely hard, and progressed through several promotions within my company – a large insurance underwriter in the City.

I’ve spent evenings studying and working additional hours, taking on extra responsibility in order to achieve my career ambitions. Now, at 26, I run a department with 29 people, drive a Porsche Boxster and have a wardrobe full of designer clothes. All this but no man!

Most of my friends are in couples, and in fear of spending the rest of my life attending parties and friends weddings as the only singleton, I thought I would try internet dating as a quick means of finding suitable, like minded partners. I found some great sites, with gorgeous men – far more eligible than I had ever imagined, and suddenly I found the missing element in my life!

I didn’t tell my friends how I was meeting my new boyfriends, as I was worried they would scorn, or accuse me of being too work orientated and not taking time out for a ‘proper’ social life. I met some great guys – intelligent, eloquent, hard working, independent and financially secure – just the sort of guy that I wanted to meet.

Then I got it wrong.

I thought I had found another possible future ‘big love’ and after emailing a few times, we exchanged phone numbers. Well, I could tell as soon as we spoke that he wasn’t going to be for me – the ‘privately educated’ chap I thought I was going to meet, could hardly string a sentence together. He sounded dreadful, and despite the fun emails we had exchanged I saw no point in wasting time meeting him for a drink.

Unfortunately, and now I realise, stupidly, I had given far too much away in my emails, and told him about my job, my flat, my car… He had obviously told all his mates about me, and when I decided not to meet him, he lost face. Subsequently I received over 10 really abusive and upsetting phone calls from his friends – calling me a stuck up bitch, a prick tease, a fake… I was really hurt.

A friend of mine told me about Incogno and their trials so I got involved and have been using it ever since. It’s giving me the security I need and control to decide whether I really want to take my email relationships that one crucial step further”.

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Case Study 3

Mark, 23, Graphic Designer, Bristol

“Incogno could have really helped me out of a really tricky situation.

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If Incogno had been around six months ago – it would have helped me out of a very sorry situation”

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Case Study 4

Phil, 40, Regional Business Development Manager, Guildford

“I’ve been single for three years now, and am really enjoying being back on the dating scene. I’ve been married twice and both ended amicably. I’m still pretty friendly with my first wife now, but we couldn’t ever be in a serious relationship again.

I travel a lot with my job and shorter more casual relationships seem to suit my lifestyle at the moment. I also spend a lot of time in the car, and with recent changes in government use of mobiles when driving; I tend to have mine on hands free, with loudspeaker most of the time. Very regularly I am joined in my car, by clients and suppliers whilst travelling from site to site.

Because of my hectic social life, lack of time at home and my constant juggling of lady friends to meet in various locations around the country, I spend a huge amount of time on my mobile, and rarely look to see who’s calling when driving and switching between calls in quick succession.

Occasionally, I’ve received really embarrassing calls! Once, a fantastic, but slightly bonkers girl called Sam, who’d I’d only recently met rang me and I picked the call up on the loudspeaker in the car. Before I had a chance to interrupt, she began lustfully describing the fact that she was naked and waiting in the hotel room for me that later evening. My Japanese client in the car with me was not amused, especially as I’d just turned down his request for a working dinner following by some networking! I laugh about it now, but I could have lost a big contract on this.

Another time, Shelley, who I’d been seeing for three months, was in the car with me, when another girl Nicky rang to thank me for the drinks the night before.

Some people might say I’m stupid, or careless with my phone… but for me it’s an integral part of my working and social life – especially as I’m driving much of the time.

I’ve done some research on the Incogno product and am only too happy to give it a try. The caller announcement may be just the thing I need, to help me organise my life better!